Burning: Just to admit defeat
You won’t believe me, but yesterday I won 146 billion SEK in the lottery.
Now I want to donate 250 million to the Swedish Football Association.
My plan is to help erect a new Zlatan statue. But double it!
I’ll only find the guild head’s email address…
How to make room on stage for … “Drum Swirl” … Swedish Football Association svenskfotboll.se website!
clap.
Here’s everything you need to know about Sweden’s largest sports federation put together. All players, all associations, all matches, all history. allegedly.
I spent whole working days on it. Admittedly, it’s not voluntary, but still. Sit, scroll, look and wonder.
It is possible to fill many pages with nothing. And the ability to hide pages that already contain something. If it exists now.
No one has ever clicked
They must have been the hundreds, who built this page and are now updating it. Maybe thousands. Like those who built the pyramids. However, I don’t know for sure, because after 4.5 years I still haven’t found the page with contact information.
I was looking. As I was looking for. But can not find.
I guess they don’t want to be contacted, gentlemen of the Swedish Football Association. I am also glad that no one has been able to contact them.
Because they are full. Filled with filling their website with nothing. And hide everything that is something.
I think I will check out the latest squad for the P15 national team. It’s very educational and nice to learn about it. Simply go to the National Team tab, tap on P15, and then if you’re on Sweden’s leading sports editorial team, a colleague will tell you that you should go to the national team P’s Instagram page instead.
Because on the site is empty. But I forgot my Instagram address.
I keep surfing the internet. I feel how the simplicity of the site washes over me like a cold shower of distilled water.
There are only five things in the top menu. I think the five most important areas of focus for Swedish football.
One is Efotboll. No one has ever pressured him.
And I don’t want to be the first.
I’m experimenting with “football” instead. Wait 45 seconds for the page to load. Once in, I can download an app.
Is it a jacket then?
Turn to “pro”. There is a fan page. I don’t know exactly what to do here but it’s still my favourite. You can click on the men’s national team and tell you that they are not playing any matches at the moment. You can click on the U21 guys and tell you they’re not playing any matches right now either.
On the women’s side, I can buy a women’s match shirt in men’s size. Consider getting such a small treat for philosophical practice for free. Is a men’s jacket still a women’s jacket? Is a women’s jacket size still a men’s shirt?
What is a women’s jacket? What is a men’s jacket?
But forget about it, because the Booster tab is actually the entire website in its article. Here they manage to hide the women’s national under-23 team so well that they are not present. They have gone. Buff!
The whole site is a political and philosophical exercise.
I finish my work day on the “Series & Cups” tab. Here I can choose simple view or advanced view.
But no one needs to make the simple presentation more advanced.
I click on Damallsvenskan, but nothing happens. I click on Superettan, but nothing happens. Only the link to the Swedish Futsal League works.
But this is not the season now.
In turns, I suddenly heard that all the important information about the Federation is in something called Fogis. The treasury should be where the federal people hide all their gold. Maybe even the Holy Grail with contact information.
I fall in love instantly. Because just feeling the name. Fujis. It looks like a stuffed purple drum that will teach everyone in the children’s book club about sealants.
But it stands for “Football Common Information System”. What bureaucratic porn! mothers.
Here I can choose the link where I want to log in to the “application that suits your user type”.
It’s exciting now, because imagine getting to know your user type! I think my party might be down. Maybe even angry. Actually upset.
I click on “Association” but I end up nowhere. I don’t have a password.
It is just an admission of defeat. The Swedish Football Association’s algorithm completely read me. My type of user might be grumpy. But above all, he was left out.
Displaced on the Swedish football website.
I will be back to reload the page. “Error 502. Bad gateway,” it says.
At 14:37 on Tuesday, June 21, the site crashed.
