Bianca Salming broke down at the European Commission over the grief of father Boré Salming.
The images are powerful when the 24-year-old can’t concentrate during a tournament.
– It’s like I’ve disappointed him, she says in the SVT Salmingsgenen documentary.
Just over three months after Bourret-Salming died of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, the daughter competed in her first major competition.
Earlier at the European Championships in Munich, my father was in the stands during his final days, and then Bianca Salming finished eighth and set a personal best in the heptathlon.
However, at the European Indoor Championships in Istanbul, 11th place in the pentathlon was a huge miscalculation.
-I have a lot to work on when it comes to myself. You can’t pretend that nothing really happened. I have thoughts I need to process. “When I’m in a competition and I’m doing a little poorly, I tend to bring up all these bad memories from the past,” says Bianca Salming.
The emptiness became clear
During competition, you feel angry, angry, and annoyed with the coach Vladimir Petrovich in the stands.
On the bus back to the hotel, she was overcome with feelings of failure.
It came spontaneously that she should call Buree Salming for support.
For her, it became another thing that reminded her that her father was no longer alive.
– There was a lot about this tournament that sparked thoughts that he no longer existed. I kept trying to outmaneuver them, and when things went wrong on a branch, it was easy for me to get stuck there. I know my father thought he was never disappointed in me. “I still feel like I let him down a little bit,” Bianca Salming says.
1/2Photo: Vegard Groot / BILDBYRÅN
He wrote directly to a psychiatrist
Immediately after the competitions, I wrote to a psychologist to ask for help to solve the problems.
-I thought I would be able to handle all these questions about my father, or I would be able to handle thinking about everything during this tournament. I wasn’t ready. No wonder this affects me, but I have to be better at dealing with it. Because I want to be able to perform in the future. “There’s a lot about athletics that reminds me of my dad,” Bianca Salming says.
Since the championships, she has also made the decision to focus on her favorite event, the high jump, to see if she can become the best in the world there instead.
Salminggen is available in three-hour segments on SVT Play from November 19.
It is recorded before, during the illness and after the death of Boré Salming.
The ice hockey legend passed away at the age of 71 on November 24, 2022.