Håkan Åhlund about the dark period
Chopping. He’s been through the worst thing you can do as parents – having to bury your child.
But Hakan Hollande, 55, will come out of the crisis as best he can, returning to the bench.
I will grieve in my own way for the rest of my life, but I want to work with ice hockey again, and all this has probably made me a better captain and coach, says Hakan Holland.
Håkan Åhlund was a hit as a player with double SM gold and WC silver as his main achievements.
After his career, he invested in becoming a coach and had assignments at Örebro, Oskarshamn, Banterne and most recently at AIK.
In January 2021, he chose to leave the assignment at AIK for personal reasons.
A dark period has begun.
– I’ve been through a lot in my life. Among other things, my father passed away when I was 13 years old. I worked with him in the summer and we were on our way to work when the driver fell asleep. Me and the one who was driving the car, but not my dad. Of course such a thing affects one. I wanted to give up hockey and soccer, but I was persuaded to carry on, he says, as I look a little quietly and sadly across the dinner table at the white-tiled house in Falsterbo outside Malmö.
Aik left to take care of the daughter
Coffee and bread are layered with butter, which makes the conversation even warmer. Now if it is possible to have a warm conversation about tragedies.
– I chose to leave AIK to take care of my daughter Flora. My wife wanted a divorce and I chose to take care of my daughter full time so she could stay in Falsterbo. Then it was impossible for me to continue as an AIK coach and family always comes first, says Hakan, who lives alone today and Flora turned 12.
Unfortunately, the Alound family’s misfortunes did not stop at the divorce.
Even dark clouds rise in the sky.
My son Linus was invested in a hockey career and he was a good position who saw the ice well. But he injured his cruciate ligament during his first year in Malmö and never came back after that. After that, he ended up crooked in society. We’ve had periods where there has been less good communication, as in recent years, the communication has been very good.
Linus had mental illness and drug problems and was challenged with rapid impulses and difficulty concentrating.
Linus struggled but never got out of trouble.
– He ended up being out of care responsibility with a multiple problem. This summer he was put in charge of his own medication and couldn’t do it.
Linus never came to you.
In August, what Hukan knew was not impossible. Linus’ heart can no longer be taken after taking an overdose of the tablets.
– It was in the middle of the JVM and we met on Thursday and talked on the phone during Friday. We discussed the JVM and hockey in general. Linus wanted and tried to become a coach, but he never got there. We told each other we were going to the beach on Sunday, and the weather was so nice and I remember it. Flora and I hugged by the sea on Sunday, but Linus never got there. I had anxiety in my body and couldn’t catch it.
Later on Sunday, Håkan got a call from old hockey friend Gunnar Leidborg.
Conversation changed everything.
– Gunnar said he regretted it. And I immediately understood what had happened. I had not yet received the death notice and formally received it later that evening.
It’s only been a few months since Linus left life on Earth and the Alund family is trying to get back on their feet as much as possible.
I have to get up every day and take care of Flora. We talk a lot about feelings and say what we feel. Then I spoke with a psychologist and my sister and aunt for support in this matter.
He and his children often visit Lymhamn cemetery where Linus is buried, and when we get the privilege of accompanying him to the place of mourning, there is a can of Coke on the grave.
Linus drank a lot of Coke. His sister who put her there must have been, says Hakan, smiling a little.
“Ready to start working again”
Hakan refills the coffee in the living room and the conversation changes focus.
He is close to crying and silence becomes a gentle waiting room for a new topic of conversation, which coaches the future.
– I am sad in my own way, but Flora and I are ready to start working again. We can imagine moving and taking on new challenges. You learn from your setbacks. In my opinion, I was always the type of person who wanted to bring people together and I cared about them. Perhaps to a greater extent now.
A year ago, he received some requests to work in hockey, but then the family did not settle down properly after the divorce. Now there is more order and control.
And life goes on.
Somehow.
