Like many Swedish players, Elin Karlsson, 27, suffered a cruciate ligament injury in the spring of 2020.
But this was only the beginning of what would turn out to be a hell of a long time.
She is now forced to terminate her contract with Växjö DFF and put her career on hold.
– It was like climbing a mountain every time I went up. As if I were running a marathon at night.
When Växjö DFF ran through the elite top without losing a match, it was with centre-back and former team captain Elin Karlsson on the sidelines.
The 27-year-old has not been able to play football all season, and when the team now advances to the Women’s League again, it will be without her.
Carlsson was forced to make the decision to terminate his contract.
– It sure slept through the fall. I’ve had a really tough time lately.
To understand what happened, we have to set the tape back to March 2020. When she was going to clear the ball in an individual exercise during training, her foot got stuck in the grass and her knee sprained.
The cruciate ligament tore and then the long nightmare began.
Corona has become a nightmare
However, it wasn’t the knee injury that was the worst, it was the corona infection and the consequences of refusing to leave it.
– When it was at its worst, I couldn’t even get out of bed. Every morning when I woke up I felt like I had a fever of more than 40 degrees.
But despite that feeling, the fever thermometer didn’t show the same.
– I had severe pain in my body. It was like climbing a mountain every time I went up. As if I were running a marathon at night. It was really terrible.
Despite the pain, the doctors found nothing. They said that according to all the examinations she was healthy, but that was not the case.
– When they said they couldn’t help me anymore, I thought what should I do now? It was very frustrating. Then you think: Am I stupid in my head for feeling this way? But it is not clear.
When the doctors couldn’t help, she had to try alternative methods. Some way out of the darkness she was in.
The 27-year-old tried yoga and meditation and started going to a psychologist and doing breathing exercises.
– I tried to heal myself in a different way. It sounds a little fuzzy, says Carlson, but it still helps to talk about it, and continues:
– Then they would like to have it like this, that I take this medicine and it’s okay, but something like that does not exist yet. They say it should be treated like burnout syndrome, you should take a few steps at a time.
However, that is easier said than done, because at the same time that Ellen was battling illness in the fall of 2021, her Växjö DFF was fighting for her presence in Allsvenskan.
– Of course there was a lot of work. I felt like I wanted to be on the field and help out, and I was for a while in the fall, but at the same time I felt like a fool.
You remember the first leg, the bottom meeting, against AIK in Skytteholm.
The centre-back felt she just had to play it, and it was 90 minutes for the 27-year-old in a 1-0 loss. Then it felt like crap.
nightmare time
The same in the first leg against Linköping, the one that meant a 5-0 loss and relegation. The one who was probably her last at the elite level.
– I felt so bad before and had to really suffer for every step I took. Like many matches last year and that shouldn’t be the case, she says and adds:
– Then I got a stamp on my hamstring that match too and I had to go in and sew it up. I felt like everything came last year and so I thought this year would be better, but it wasn’t.
The past few years have been full of anxiety and there have been many tears.
For the 27-year-old, the anxiety was something new, something she hadn’t experienced before but which doctors explained was common in connection with the long-term virus.
– There will be a lot of emotion in general. You cry because you miss football, you cry because you feel bad and you feel sick. Then you cry because you left Svenskan.
– I felt like I cried my tears, but then you post on instagram and then more tears come…
The post Carlsson is talking about is the one in which she announced that she had now had to realize that she had to put her career on hold indefinitely and terminate the contract with Växjö DFF.
– it was hard. It was harder than I thought because I got so much love.
As the decision grew stronger and she mentally prepared before it was published, another wave of emotion came, even more tears.
– It was really overwhelming but now I think I cried my tears for the next 10 years.
For photos from a career that began at Hovshaga AIF nearly 20 years ago, the comments poured in. Heart emojis and salutations abound, both from current teammates and those who’ve been there along the way.
– It’s still nice when old mates you’ve played with for a long time reach out and thank us for playing together. I did not expect that.
Among the photos you can see the time in Växjö DFF as well as the adventure in Kristianstad and the 11th EC qualifier match with the national team F19 against England in Norway. Carlson started with players like Lena Hurtig, Stina Plakstenius, Natalie Bjorn and Zysira Mosović.
– He’s obviously a little emotional. I didn’t stop and think about what I did. But then, when you consider that you have to play in the U-23 national team, play in the U19 qualifiers in the EC, you have to be the captain of the team in Allsvenskan. If someone had told me that when I was 10 years old, I would have been very proud, and I really am.
It’s been nearly ten years since she began her career in the Elites and Östers IF, with twin sister Nellie.
At the same time that Elaine made the decision to put her career on hold, Nellie was selected for January camp for the women’s national team. Also in Gerhardsson’s troupe is a close friend of Stena Lenartsson.
– I’m just proud and I think it’s so much fun. They also suffered setbacks. They both had cruciate ligament injuries, and I’ve been riding them for a very long time and I’ve seen how much they fought and how hard they worked,” she said.
– Then you’re obviously a bit like, mmm, it was fun being with you, but right now I still feel like it’s a little too far for me now. I can live through them for a bit now. I got insight from them.
Find everyday life again
For her part, it is mainly about returning to normal life. effective daily life.
– I don’t think about it every day anymore, but I still can’t train as I want. My body is not recovering like a normal body. I have to train in shorter intervals so that I can recover. I have to plan my days in order to conserve my energy because it runs out so fast.
The 27-year-old, who recently graduated, will start working as a secondary school teacher in Växjö in January, and in order to save energy and get on with everyday life, it’s important for her to take breaks during the day.
– I think some days I can live reasonably normally, but apparently it still affects me.
Ellen Carlson doesn’t know if this was just a break or if her career is over, but now the road back seems a little too long to feel real.
There is still a long way to go before I can be the footballer I know I can be. Then it feels very stressful to get back to the level you were at.
